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- Beth Lochtefeld
Peter's Eulogy
From the funeral Mass on Nantucket
As I look out over all of you
who have come from far and wide to share in this service to remember Beth, I am
struck once again by how many people Beth has touched in her life. On behalf of
her family, I thank you for your support.
Beth was an optimist, someone who always looking for the best in every
situation. Although she was born in the April snows of Erie, Pennsylvania, she
preferred to note that she was actually conceived in the balmy island paradise
of Hawaii.
Beth was the middle child in our family of 5, and throughout her life was always
in the middle of people, connecting them together, smoothing out their
differences, feeding them, and organizing them in all sorts of activities, from
spontaneous dinner parties and family reunions to corporate level functions. It
has struck me over the past few days that she taught all of us lessons that
enabled us to pull this event together. In her absence, she is incredibly
present.
Beth was always there for her family, especially for her 10 nieces and nephews,
and the children of all her friends were treated as if they were her nieces and
nephews. She never forgot a birthday. In the midst of the daily crises that
define family life with small children, her favorite line was, "What can I do to
help?" It takes a whole village to raise a child, and we were lucky to have Beth
in our village.
And it wasn't just children that Beth helped. Last spring, as I desperately was
trying to
complete complicated paperwork before our family's first winter vacation in
seven years, I turned on the TV and watched like a bad dream as a huge storm
nicknamed the "Nantucket Nor'easter" headed straight for us. We were screwed. If
we didn't leave early, we would miss our flight. I called Beth. In all the
world, of all the people I have ever known, there was only one person who could
give you the impression that you were somehow doing her an enormous favor by
letting her pull your ass out of the fire. I will miss her.
The last time I was at Beth's house, watering her plants while she was away, I
spotted a book on her living room bureau. Since the children were busily
occupied looking through her closet and jumping on her bed, I did what any
Lochtefeld would and lay down on the floor for a quick perusal. It was a
beautiful book, entitled "Potluck at Midnight Farm", full of anecdotes and
photographs celebrating the spontaneous gathering of people around good food
throughout the seasons of the year. I read in it the desire Beth had to have
roots in a relationship and a community that would nourish the fruits and
flowers that enrich life so, that she saw so clearly in my life and longed for
in her own.
A couple of years ago, Beth met my family in Amsterdam, and after a few days we
were getting ready to go our separate ways. Time was running out. I pulled some
strings and got us two bicycles and some free time, and we set off for a ride.
It was late spring. We just started riding randomly, without a map or a plan,
turning left or right at streets where the sunlight looked good through the
trees, or the fragrance of exotic food or the refrain of distant music
drew us in, along canals and over bridges. We moved with the motion of a flock
of birds or a school of fish, neither leading, neither following, exhilarated by
the clicking of the gears and the whooshing of the tires and the dreamy freedom
approaching that of flying just by wishing it. We found our way home eventually,
tired and quiet.
I always liked to think that Beth and I had one more good ride left for us.
Maybe we still do. It may not be here, on earth, but in another existence, some
other astral plane, or heaven. I like to believe we will be together again, side
by side, with the wind in our hair, in balance, in motion, neither leading,
neither following, with hearts full of love for each other and everything around
us.
Thank you for coming to honor Beth's life with us today.
